MovieGoods Blog

Drag Me To Hell movie poster: photoshopped, awkward, handsy

The poster for Drag Me To Hell suffers from underwhelming over-photoshopping. She doesn't appear to be being dragged down so much as she is just eating her hair. How many demons are dragging her down, and where are their heads? For someone who is supposedly being dragged to hell, she doesn't seem to be putting up much of a fight. The scratched up eroded sepia sky and background is a bit awkward, and the lighting is all wrong.

And the title is confusing. Why would someone WANT to be dragged to hell? And if they wanted to be in hell, why would demons need to drag them? You'd think they would walk there without making a fuss.

The Dungeon Masters movie poster: Uncomfortable Hairy Elven Office Chairs

For your enjoyment, we present this blog entry in two languages. Mundane English and Deep Geek.

The poster for The Dungeon Masters features a goofy looking office chair with a head, pointy ears, lipstick, long hair, and dice for eyes.

The promotional scroll for The Dungeon Masters fatures a chair with the head of a Drow (or Ssri-Tel'Quessir in the Elven tongue). The lipstick denotes a female Drow, which is likely since Drow society is Matriarchal, as they worship Lolth, the Spider-Queen. The Elf-chair has a dodecahedron and an icosahedron for eyes. Of course, the poster is all wrong since Drow skin is obsidian in hue and they would never be caught dead in a green pastel room, as they shun brightness.

New Terminator Salvation Poster: Insert Cheap “Head” Joke Here

We will resist the natural urge to include a cheesy joke about a head in regards to this new Terminator Salvation poster so as to not anger Christian Bale, lest we incur his verbal wrath. Instead, we’ll just list out some possible corny headlines and let you pick one to groan at.

• “That’s no Way to Get Ahead in Life”
• “Looks Like He’s Head of the Class”
• “The Terminator is Getting a Head Start on Death”
• “Terminator Salvation: Nothing to Lose Your Head Over”
• “Terminator Salvation: The Further Adventures of Smolder and Skully”

A big yellow poster for Crank 2: High Voltage

A very yellow Crank2 poster debuted on Twitter, of all places. It’s a Hollywood first, for Lionsgate to unveil a movie poster on Twitter. It looks like a big warning sign, which is appropriate since Jason Statham apparently electrocutes himself repeatedly in the film, which as we all know, makes for good entertainment.

While you’re at it, check out our own Twitter here.

The Ugly Truth: Truly Embracing Chick-Flickdom

We have to admire a movie that isn’t afraid to embrace its status as an obvious chick flick. Notice where Katherine Heigl is holding that paper heart, and notice where Gerard Butler is holding his. The big black line between them is a rather obvious visual metaphor for differences between men and women. And we know there’s going to be a happy ending. The movie may be a formulaic romantic comedy, but at least it admits it in the marketing.

“Where The Wild Things Are” Movie Poster (or, Scream If You Dig Wolf Pajamas)

For fans of the classic children’s book Where The Wild Things Are, this poster (and movie) have been a long time in coming. This just looks like it’s going to be a fun movie.

Of course, this brings up the obvious questions: When are they going to make a movie of “Everybody Poops” and will it be in IMAX?

The “Ex Terminators” Movie Poster is a Godawful Mess

This poster has everything: Three different fonts, tilted cast names, a terrible color scheme, awful photos of the stars just slapped into flower shapes, and is that supposed to be a bouquet? Sure, it’s an indie film, but seriously, don’t cheap out on the marketing.

Observe and Report: Literally, Just That

We have two new posters for Observe and Report, one for Observe and one for Report. They’re good posters, but the funny gets kind of lost if you don’t display them side by side.

Orphan Movie Poster : Symmetrically Creepy

They say that people with perfectly symmetrically aligned faces are prettier, but Esther is a prime example of how wrong that idea is. Maybe it’s just the huge black irises or the bushy eyebrows and not the mirror image, but whatever it is, Esther creeps me the hell out.

Imagine That: Eddie Murphy Without a Fat Suit

I know it’s a stretch of the imagination, but yes, Eddie Murphy is starring in a kids movie, and with no fat suits (as far as we know). How they got Martin Sheen for the And credit we may never know.